By Loc
Remember last year when we said we couldn’t remember a year where there was such a huge gap in quality movie viewing? Probably not, but it was said and it stood true. Then this year rolled in and boy did it destroy last year in terms of mediocrity. You thought going three months was long…I’m talking about movies people! Well this year, Inception came out in July and it took well into the fall before another movie warranted theater viewing. Sad, I know, but that’s the truth.
Even going back and taking a look at all the movies from the past year brought one stunning fact to light: everything was just OK. There were a few stinkers, but by and large, everything was watchable. Just not excellent. There may be years where we’ve dished out more 7′s, but I doubt it. The best of the best were good solid films. The middling stuff, relatively solid films. The bad stuff, well that was still bad. But nothing stood out and come award season, it’ll be the same way. Sure you’re going to get your heavy doses of hype, but really, there’s nothing memorable about this year in film.
So of course we’re going to highlight it…NOW!
Even without the trip to the theater, you can thank the $1 vending machines for the plethora of reviews. There’s never been a year where BMF reviewed this many films. Sure, we usually get around to seeing a lot of stuff, but that’s after it hits cable and HBO. This year, you got the benefit of DVD reviews, and I’m sure you were delighted.
In total, we saw 36 movies that qualified under the top 150 grossing movies of 2010. 36! Granted, we forgot, neglected, chose not to write reviews for 3 of them, so here’s the quickie recap of the forgotten gems. Alice in Wonderland, 5, creepy Johnny Depp, creepy Tim Burton, weird visuals, same formula as every other Burton flick. Date Night, 6, mildly amusing, mostly just mild, stick to 30 Rock and The Office for Tina Fey and Steve Carrell laughs. Kick-Ass, 6, pretty good take, the little girl is crazy awesome, but the wink-wink “we know we’re a superhero movie and we’re META!” was slightly annoying. There, maybe I should make all the reviews Twitter-friendly.
Back to the 36, that’s more than a movie a week! Schnikes!! Here’s where the studios get sad. Of the 36, 22 were either airplane viewings, cable TV, or the dreaded $1 machines. In fact, 17 of those 22 were from the $1 machine! So what do you think studios, is $1 better than cable TV viewing for free? Seriously, when you churn out crap and then pull the $4 IMAX charge plus $4 3D charge, that’s close to a $20 movie ticket. You reap what you sow…you reap…what you sow…dun dun dun!
OK, moving on. Of the top 10 grossing flicks, we nailed 8 with Toy Story 3, Iron Man 2, and Inception included in the fold. The missing two? Harry Potter and Despicable Me…interesting. Harry Potter may be drawing to a close, but it’s run out of must-see steam already for BMF.
How about top 20? Big drop off with 13, which included Clash of the Titans, Grown Ups, and Tron: Legacy. Missing: Tangled, Megamind, Little Fockers. Eh, the quality drop off was steep. But then looking at the top 30, we hit 21 with flicks like Salt, Jackass 3D, True Grit, The Expendables, and The Book of Eli. Again, the quality dropped off, but I guess bad movies were less exciting to watch than pretty awful movies.
This year the “yet to be seen” abyss was smaller, probably because we didn’t wait until cable TV viewings. Hooray vending machine! Things we will see at some point: Black Swan, Harry Potter, The Town, The King’s Speech…maybe. As you can see, less Oscar contenders were missed this year, and more stuff that we just didn’t get around to seeing in the theaters.
Seriously, the fascination with data-driven analysis in this yearend recap is amazing…amazingly dull. But hey, we enjoy breaking down the numbers, so there you go.
On to the awards!
The Unnecessary Twist Ending Award:
If you haven’t seen it, I won’t ruin it for you. Well, maybe I will, but I won’t give away the actual twist. The Book of Eli takes this home without a close competitor. It’s weird, how many post-apocalyptic flicks are there year-in-year-out? And why do they all star Kevin Costner? You know, The Postman, Waterworld, Swing Vote, snicker snicker. Well, the formula changed here with Denzel stepping in as savior to the world. Seeing him walk around in dust, smack bad guys around with dusty bravado, talk in dusty, hushed tones, all good fun. Then you throw in a random twist, and it actually has very little impact on anything? Ohhh kay. Don’t need it, don’t do it.
The Unnecessary Character Rewrite Award:
We may be one of the few…ok, we’re the only ones in the world that 1, saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and 2, loved Russell Brand’s character. He was the self-deluded rock star, but everything he said was Yoda-like wisdom. You were supposed to be annoyed by him, but really, he was the only likeable character because of his honest dickishness. Then they wrote Get Him to the Greek starring his character, wrote him to have fallen off the drug/alcohol wagon, and made him into another unlikeable, self-deluded rock star. I mean, sure you’re supposed to be cheering for Jonah Hill’s character, but that guy is unlikeable, too…in all of his movies. So why did you go and ruin Aldous Snow? WHY!?
The You’re Witnessing the Death of a Career Award:
Oh hello Knight and Day. Now, are you witnessing Tom Cruise’s descent into unmarketable past icon? Or are you witnessing Cameron Diaz’s affirmation of mysteriously still making movies status? Yes, you are. There is no mojo left here, no magic, nothing that million-dollar smiles can solve. It’s over. Let it go. Enjoy the combined net worth of ten gazillion dollars on beaches somewhere. Let us all move along. Nothing to see here.
The Didn’t They Make This Exact Movie Already Award:
Brooklyn’s Finest, starring Ethan Hawke as an young cop, Richard Gere as a weathered old cop, Wesley Snipes as a hardened criminal, and Don Cheadle as a deep cover guy. So, Training Day mash up with Deep Cover? Yes? Whatever, no one went to see this movie. And no one cares about this fake award about a movie no one went to see. Next.
The It Wasn’t That Bad Award:
So you go hiking by yourself, jump on a loose boulder, pin your arm against a ton of rock. What do you do? I’d die, I already admit that. But Aron Ralston has more testicular fortitude than most. He cuts off his arm after five days of struggling and somehow manages to rescue himself. Now James Franco stars in the Danny Boyle adaptation named 127 Hours and everyone is squirming and squealing about THAT one scene. Well, it’s not that bad. Seriously. And it’s a pretty good flick to watch. So don’t be scared. You’ll give yourself a hand when you go see it…yes, I went there.
The Law and Order What Huh Award:
There’s nothing hotter than the Millennium Triology, better known as movies about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. And after we caught the first flick, we anxiously waited for the opportunity to catch the next two installments. The second is solid. The third, hmmm. That is like one half watching a patient in physical rehab, then second half watching a Law and Order episode. How badass is Lisbeth in this final installment? Well, she gets dressed up with spiky hair and stuff to enter the courtroom. Yup, what started with a bang ends with a whimper. Sniffles.
The Worst Movie of 2010:
As mentioned above, nothing was that offensive this year. If it was good, it was good enough. If it was bad, it was worse than the good stuff. Yet, nothing screamed at you like past winners or contenders. There were no Memoirs of a Geisha or Bridget Jones sequel. There were no Transformers/GI Joe combo punches to destroy your childhood memories. Nope, this year was the weakest year in really horrible movies in a long time.
Sure you had stuff like Clash of the Titans, a colossal waste of visual poop, but whatever. She’s Out of My League, pretty horrid, but it’s no worse than any other Seth Rogen unfinished comedy script that they film. Valentine’s Day, bad wannabe knock-off of Love Actually with no chemistry or romance about the most romantic day on the calendar, but eh.
I guess when you come right down to it, this one has to go to Eat Pray Love. The love letter to self-involved, midlife crises sufferers, this one had very little going for it. The path of self discovery? Not so much. It was more like a big eff you to 95% of the population that can’t afford to take a year off and travel the globe to deal with their problems. That’s not envy talking, that’s just what this flick delivered. There’s little inspiring from this tale, and mostly it’s just Julia Roberts indulging in things. Good for her. Bad for you.
And now, the top 3 movies of the year!!
Number 3: Inception
In a year filled with eh and blah, Inception was one of the movies that climbed atop the heap. The visuals were awesome and Christopher Nolan continues to deliver entertaining movies on every attempt. Go back and rewatch something like The Prestige and you pick up nuances that are worth repeat viewings. Inception will be one of these films as well. The idea was simple, but the execution was great. More importantly, it caused movie-goers to ponder and question, and that’s a good thing in a world filled with Jersey Shore. This was a solid flick that hit the spot. And…the top never stopped spinning. That’s the answer to your question. Not everything can end with a picture perfect ending, and definitely Leo’s trip to limbo and back are stuff that fairytales are made of. Nope, he was stuck. Bottom line. Final answer.
Number 2: The Social Network
Look, the Facebook movie is getting lots of hype and either you’re all for it or you’re annoyed at it. Either way, this movie isn’t about the realities of Facebook or the Silicon Valley. This is your average Joe makes good and hits the life-lotto story. Only, the average Joe is presented as a socially inept savant. Oh well, it was an entertaining flick, super solid writing, and intriguing story. Is there any truth in what’s presented? Maybe, at the very least there’s some reality in this. But in the end, it’s a movie and it tells a compelling story. Good. Welcome to the Oscars. Even if you’re just the over-hyped flick of the moment.
Number 1: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
This is a tough one because it’s actually an older flick that just hit stateside success. Nevertheless, Noomi Rapace’s turn as Lisbeth Salander was awesomeness captured onscreen. She’s a 21st century badass, even if she is a socially inept savant. Maybe that’s the trend of the year. Couple her performance with a gritty, yet engaging tale of the underbelly of society and you have yourself a Se7en like experience starring a journalist of all things. However, there wasn’t another flick that made us seek out the next two sequels and look forward to foreign film subtitles more than this one. It was exciting and a ride to behold. Will Hollywood screw up the big budget remake? Odds are very likely. So go see the original first and enjoy the essence of the Millennium Trilogy. Don’t worry so much about the next two flicks, they suffer from Matrix Trilogy syndrome.
And there you have it, the 2010 Year In Review. Here’s to hoping 2011 is more entertaining than tolerable!
