Review by Loc
So the trilogy is complete and the intertwining lives of Mikael Blomkvist and Lisbeth Salander concludes with the longest title ever. Unfortunately, much like the title, this story is a long, meandering tale that plays out slow and fails to capitalize on the energy of the original. Sad, it seems most stories aren’t meant to be shorter installments of a larger, meta tale. Quick hit: too much eh.
If you haven’t heard of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, you will. You’ll either read it in the coming months, see the original Swedish film adaptation, or hear about the coming Hollywood remake starring James Bond and Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend. Wait, what? Sorry, that’s Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara to you. Yes, this is the hottest literary property since The Da Vinci Code or Harry Potter or…Twighlight if you consider that literature. The interesting thing about this property is that the author, the late Steig Larsson, actually finished all of these novels way before the movie studios came calling. In fact, Larsson wrote these novels for personal enjoyment and they were only published posthumously in the last half decade.
Back to the film at hand, the final installment of the Millennium trilogy. In the first film, we were introduced to the badass Lisbeth, emo hacker with an eff you attitude. She was drawn into solving a generations-long mystery alongside journalist Mikael Blomkvist, who himself was facing credibility issues and legal maneuvers from his day job. Cut to the sequel, where more of Lisbeth’s past came to the forefront and both leads battled nefarious forces completely independent of one another.
And that’s where this final flick picks up, literally seconds after the second ended. In a sense, this is like the second half of the second film. Unfortunately, this part of the story plays out methodically with very little intrigue. Remember when we were uncovering Lisbeth’s unthinkable past? Well, now we’re treated to the full reveal, but it’s not all that interesting. You see, if you understood that Lisbeth had some horrible stuff happen to her, that’s enough to understand how that might affect her today. However, seeing the rest of the grand conspiracy really only shines a light on some very old guys who can barely even walk now, and they’re sordid past is not all that interesting.
Worse yet, the climatic ending to the second film leaves us watching Lisbeth recover for more than half this film. Literally, we watch Lisbeth lie in a hospital bed, rehab in her hospital room, and stew in silence when random folks come to visit. The most dynamic character of this series and the most engaging presence in the films, confined to a hospital bed. This setting does the movie no favors.
Couple that with the second half of the flick, which finally sees Lisbeth return to super-spiked Mohawk and emo makeup, brings our star to…a courtroom. Wait, what? Yes, Lisbeth stars in a very special episode of Law & Order: SVU for the next hour and a half. The coolest thing we learn is that Swedish courts apparently don’t require discovery motions in a court of law. So if you ever wanted to see one side present its case, then have the opposing side go, “Oh really? Seriously, is that you’re argument? Because, I’d like to present THIS!”, you’re going to see that in this flick. It’s like the ultimate poker hand where the other guy just went all-in with a straight flush and you go, how about my royal flush!
So, yes, the use of Lisbeth is limited at best. The use of Mikael is a little better as we get to see him unravel the mystery of Lisbeth’s past. It’s like a Dateline investigation special with a bloated Swede leading the charge. Good enough I guess.
The biggest hole in this film is the lack of interaction between the two leads. It’s their dynamic relationship that drove the first story as Mikael’s average guy acted as a mirror to watch Lisbeth’s character emerge. The second installment was good enough because both characters continued to do interesting things, even if they were apart. This one has both characters working on the same thing, but never interacting, never exposing themselves to one another, and never doing anything together. You can add up the time spent together on-screen between the second and third films and it’ll be less than 10 minutes, which is a shame.
Overall, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest was like an extended prologue to The Girl Who Played with Fire. The problem is that this two-and-a-half-hour prologue is relatively flat and lifeless, much like Lisbeth Salander in a hospital bed. It’s a disappointing conclusion to characters with so much potential. Out of 6 months of rehab, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest stumbles with 3.
Rated: 5/10
